Too often we find ourselves caught up in begging God for a breakthrough, for a miracle, for some grand gesture. In the natural, life feels so hard and confusing that we petition God over and over to make it all right. This is where I have found myself for a few years now. "God make things right! Restore to me what has been stolen! Bless me abundantly so that I may have the honor of blessing others! Father, are you hearing me? I need a grand gesture!"
Sometimes, when I pray out of desperation, I feel disrespectful. I feel shallow and somewhat ridiculous. Then I remember that my God is two things: he is the Most High God and therefore able to handle anything I can throw at him; and, he is my loving Father whose desire is for his children. He can handle it and he wants to handle it.
OK, so that's out of the way. Now, on to what God just (gently) hit me over the head with...
I am so busy looking for my breakthrough, for my miracle, for my grand gesture that I am completely missing the intimate, loving exchanges that happen in the most unlikely moments. To put it another way, I am missing the trees for the forest! I am so focused on the bigger picture that I am utterly failing to see the details of how he cares for me minute by minute.
He comes to me when I am balled up on my bed weeping into my pillow. He wraps his arms around me and allows me to sink into his peace.
He comes to me with an encouraging word from a friend, a co-worker, or even a grocery store clerk. He meets me in unlikely places.
He comes to me when I sleep and whispers sweet songs. He dances around me, covering me as I rest under his protection.
He comes to me with provision when it feels like there is no way. He takes care of my needs and even springs for some wants every so often.
He comes to me because I am his child and he delights in me. Each moment is like a beautiful tree, strong, mighty, and life-giving. Each tree builds the bigger picture. The bigger picture is in his hands. I do not need to concern myself with the bigger picture. I walk from tree to tree, from glory to glory, and I trust that he is the canopy above my head.
My breakthrough will come. My miracle is life lived for his purpose. Each tree is a grand gesture from my Father. The trees sustain me. These moments when he comes to me in the still of the night, or while experiencing the anguish of loss, or during the confusion of the journey...each of these moments will propel me into the person he created me to be.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a passion for helping others to find their healing. The past few years have been a test in trusting the Creator for provisions and living in complete and total worship to my King. As I find myself coming through the other side of the valley, I am learning to live with both wings moving; flying balanced and fully committed to the process of living a life of faith and trust.